Pride Prayer Service

Tonight (June 23, 2021), my church had its (hopefully) first Pride Prayer Service. I spoke (call it a sermon, a message, or whatever) briefly. Below is what I said.

You can listen to the sermon here. The audio is a little different from the written because I always make minor edits along the way as I read it out loud.

-------------------

Welcome and well come to Christ the Servant for our 2021 Pride Prayer service. When I was first thinking about what I wanted to say tonight, I was going to talk about Pride and its importance. However, about a week and a half ago, I heard a line in a tv show that gave me something to really think about and I wanted to offer some thoughts. The show is Love, Victor and the line is, “I’m not giving up on God. I’m giving up on you.”

Before I talk about the line, here is a little background. Love, Victor is a tv show set in the same high school as 2018’s Love, Simon. In the first season of the show, Victor; a Latino high school student; slowly comes to grips with the fact that he is gay. The first season ends with him saying, “Mom and Dad, I’m gay.” His dad is surprisingly good about adjusting, but his very religious mother Isabel has a much harder time. And this is not helped by a homophobic priest who tells her that Victor will not know God’s Love. When the priest says this same thing to Adrian, Victor’s younger brother, Isabel confronts him. She has managed to mostly start her journey of acceptance and affirmation, and she tells the priest that she and God both love Victor. She then quits her position at the church and the priest tells her not to give up on God. That is when she utters my favorite line of the season: “I’m not giving up on God. I’m giving up on you.”

See, queer people who are religious have heard this line or something like it so many times before. We are told that we are dirty, unclean, perverted, unloved, and damned to perdition merely because we are who we are. We are told that we are choosing a lifestyle that is antithetical to the Bible and that God will reject us. We are told that we cannot be a part of the church. Some churches will “accept” us, so long as we are quiet about who we are and don’t cause “scandal”. Some churches outright refuse to let us be members, fearing that we will “corrupt” people and lead them away from God.

But here’s the thing: Those of us who choose to stay in churches, particularly affirming churches, aren’t rejecting God. We are rejecting the organizations that reject us. We are rejecting the teachings that tell us that we are less than others or that we are second-class citizens. We know that God’s Love is all inclusive. We know that God Loves us all wholly and completely. We have faith that God, who is the Parent to all of us, will be there for us even if our biological or religious families reject us.

As we heard in the letter to the Ephesians: “You are included in God’s holy place and are members of the household of God.” Or as it says in Romans 8:38-39: “For I am certain that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, neither heights nor depths—nor anything else in all creation—will be able to separate us from the love of God that comes to us in Christ Jesus, our Savior.”

God’s love is whole, complete, and unconditional. We cannot earn it, we do not need to earn it, it just is. God loves us, not because She has to, but because They choose to. God made us all and made us just the way He wanted us to be. Whether that is gay, straight, lesbian, bi, pan, or asexual, whether that is trans, cis, non-binary, or agender, or any of the other glorious and beautiful possibilities that I may not have mentioned, you are a child of God, created by God, loved by God, and perfect just as you are. Know that, feel that, and accept that. And if you need to hear it, just let me know. I’ll say it again: you are a child of God, created by God, loved by God, and perfect just as you are.

If you’re an ally, please make sure that all of the queer people in your life know this and hear this often. When there is a world telling us how much of a burden we are, how twisted we are, how unnatural and corrupted we are, we need to hear from people who know that that is just not true. And don’t just mouth the words, make sure they are known through actions and deeds. If you see people spouting homophobic or transphobic things, say something. If you see someone who is queer struggling with being accepted because of who they are, show them that they are loved. Actions speak much louder than words and are more readily remembered.

If you are queer, know that there are churches who will accept and affirm you because of who you are. Not in spite of it, but because of it. You are beautiful, colorful flowers in the garden of life that God has made. Your queerness is sacred, it is holy. It is a part of you and you are sacred and holy too. Know that even if there are churches which reject you, God does not reject you. God Loves you and wants you to live a whole and complete life. That is Pride. Living who you are to the best of your ability. If there is someone out there who is queer, even if we don’t know it, know that you are loved. Know that you are a part of a community that will embrace you and help you and love you. It can be messy at times, but that’s family. That’s community.

So remember that line: “I’m not giving up on God. I’m giving up on you.” Remember that giving up on homophobic churches doesn’t mean giving up on God. It means giving up on structures or organizations or people who hurt you. Come to know the loving embrace of God. Come to know all the love that is there. Above all, know this: you are a child of God, created by God, loved by God, and perfect just as you are.

Amen.

Sermon for Good Shepherd Sunday (4/25/2021)

This is my first non-Reconciling in Christ sermon given on April 25, 2021.

------------------------

Welcome and well come to Christ the Servant Lutheran Church. In some churches, today is known as “Good Shepherd Sunday”. Take a look at the Gospel, and it is pretty easy to see why. Jesus describes Himself as “[t]he good shepherd who lays down his life for his sheep.” To add to that, we have Psalm 23 which starts with “The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not be in want.” The primary job of the shepherd is to protect the flock under their watch, to make sure that the flock gets to where it needs to go, to feed them, and to keep them safe.

In the second reading today, we hear the author of 1 John say: “My children, our love must not be simply words or mere talk-it must be true love, which shows itself in action and truth.” Our love, our faith is not something we are meant to have to put on a shelf and dust off every Sunday. It is a living force meant to animate our lives, to breathe life into our actions, and to drive us to go out and help others. If we want to truly follow Christ, we need to act on our faith, not just say that we believe in it.

If we want to follow Jesus, we need to derive inspiration from His actions and we need to do what we can to protect “the flock”. But who is the flock? Is it just the people who believe in Jesus? For much of the church’s history, the “flock” referred to Christians, to people who followed Christ. But that reading of the word “flock” runs counter to some of Jesus’ other teachings. In the Parable of the Good Samaritan, Jesus tells the questioner that their neighbor is anyone. And if our neighbor is everyone, would Jesus expect any less of Himself than to regard everyone as His neighbor? In Matthew 25 (also known as the Sheep and the Goats), Jesus talks about how the nations will be divided based on how they have cared for the least among them. Those who feed the hungry, give drink to the thirsty, clothe the naked, and visit those ill or in prison, will go to eternal life. Again, notice that this is not limited to any particular group; whether ethnic, religious, racial, etc.; it is anyone who is in need of help.

In James 2:14-20, 26, it says:

"My [siblings], what good is it to profess faith without practicing it? Such faith has no power to save. If any are in need of clothes and have no food to live on, and one of you says to them, "Goodbye and good luck. Stay warm and well-fed," without giving them the bare necessities of life, then what good is this? So it is with Faith. If good deeds don't go with it, faith is dead.

Some of you will say that you have faith, while I have deeds. Fine: I'll prove to you that I have faith by showing you my good deeds. Now you prove to me that you have faith without any good deeds to show. You believe in One God. Fine. But even the demons have the same belief, and they tremble with fear. Don't you realize, you idiots, that faith without good deeds is useless?...

Be assured then, that faith without works is as dead as a body without a spirit."

In all of these, we see that having faith on its own is not enough. Faith should drive us into action. Faith should lead us to care for others; to protect the poor, the young, the widowed, and the marginalized. If our faith doesn’t lead us to do something, then it is not faith, it is belief. And belief, on its own, is as useless as the “hope and prayers” all too frequently thrown out as a supposed balm after a tragic incident.

In the song “Hands”, Jewel sings about how we are all to help take care of each other. She says:

I won't be made useless

Won't be idle with despair

I'll gather myself around my faith

For light does the darkness most fear

My hands are small, I know

But they're not yours, they are my own

But they're not yours, they are my own

And I am never broken

We'll fight, not out of spite

For someone must stand up for what's right

'Cause where there's a man who has no voice

There ours shall go singing

As followers of Christ, our calling is to be shepherds for each other. We are to look out for each other, care for each other, and protect each other. If we see injustices taking place, if we see people in need, if we see people under attack, we are called to respond. This is more than a request or an optional good deed. Faith requires action. We must help those who we can help. In order to be a living faith, it *MUST* be put into action.

And there are so many things in the world that need our attention. There is the devaluation of the lives of Black, indigenous, and people of color; there are attacks on trans people (particularly trans youth); there are people who go hungry every day; people who do not have homes; people who do not have clean water to drink; there are assaults on our right to vote freely and fairly; there are too many people imprisoned for acts which were incredibly minor or even for crimes they never committed; there are attacks on our environment in the name of progress; and so much more. I must admit, it can be overwhelming. It is all too easy to just throw up your hands and say “I can’t fix it! I’m just one person!”

But, we are the Body of Christ, not just one individual person. In 1 Corinthians 12, Paul talks about how we are one body made up of many parts. Not every part of the body can (or should) do the same thing. He then extends that to talk about how there are many roles in the church:

there are apostles,

there are prophets,

then there are teachers,

then those who do miracles,

those who have the gift of healing,

those who can help others,

those who have the gift of leadership,

those who speak in unknown languages.

Likewise, when we are looking to put our faith into action, there are many ways we can do it. We can take direct action and take part in protests, parades, or marches. But not everyone can do that. I know that I, for example, have trouble with them because I get anxious when I am around large groups of people. So, for people like me, we can (for example) write letters; make calls; educate and inform others; help organize events; donate food, drink, clothing, or money; or volunteer at a shelter.

Now, I know a lot of us already do at least one or two of these things. I want to challenge you to try and do more if you can. If you already volunteer at a shelter or help center, try finding out about an issue and contact the appropriate legislator/regulator to do something to help address that issue. If you give money, see if there is a way you can get more directly involved, maybe by joining a phone bank or letter writing campaign. And so on and so forth. We are not going to be able to solve the issues overnight, but we still must do what we can to help others and to drive our nation to be a more perfect union that truly addresses the needs of its people. For they are our siblings, and we are their shepherds. We must be love for the world. There is a saying attributed to St. Francis of Assisi: “Go out and preach unto all the world. If necessary, use words.” May our actions show our faith in action. May we protect and help those who are overlooked or ignored by society.

To close today, I want to pray a prayer from “God’s Work, Our Hands” Sunday:

The God of compassion, hope and joy, 
Our Creator, Redeemer and Sustainer,
Bless your feet to carry you into places of need. 
Bless your lips to proclaim love and mercy. 
Bless your heart to love and listen to those you encounter. 
Bless your hands to care for the needs of your neighbors. 
Bless you to be a blessing to others. 
Now and always.  
Amen.

May God bless you and keep you. Know that you are a child of God and God love you for exactly who you are.

Sermon for Reconciling in Christ Sunday 2021

Welcome and well come to Christ the Servant Church on this Reconciling in Christ Sunday. Over the last couple of years, we have had members of the queer community speak on RIC Sunday. In 2018, we had a few members of the community and Pastor speak about what being a part of a RIC community has meant for them. In 2019, I spoke about how we needed to widen the circle of those who are a part of the church and use the gifts of all people, especially those who have historically been marginalized in order to allow for the fullest flourishing of the Church. Last year, Michael Yeschenko spoke to us about his past and how the gifts of many in the queer community, particularly trans women of color, are ignored or worse because of discrimination against the queer community and the killing of many trans people, particularly women of color.

This year, I want to take some threads from each of those sermons and explore them further. But before I do that, I want to briefly focus on one aspect of the second reading that has been used as a weapon by some people. In Galatians, we have Paul warning us not to fall prey to the flesh since the flesh is at odds with the Spirit. Many people interpret this in a dualistic light that things which are physical are unimportant, or even evil, and that only that which is spiritual is important. This leads to people policing the bodies of others or ignoring the physical needs of people in order to “save their souls”.

The policing of bodies has a tremendous impact on trans people (particularly trans women) and people whose gender presentation does not match the gender presentation people expect. We see some people denying the humanity of trans women and insisting that they are sexual predators who are merely out to prey on women in restrooms or locker rooms. We have transgender individuals who become sick because they are harassed so much when they need to use bathrooms in schools or other public buildings because people may try to prevent them from using the proper bathroom. We have trans or gender non-conforming people who are beaten or killed because they do not look like what people think they should look like.

If you remember the Parable of the Sheep and the Goats from Christ the King, the ruler separates the sheep and the goats based on whether or not they have taken care of others. The criteria being used are all based around taking care of the physical needs of others: feeding the hungry, providing drink to the thirsty, clothing the naked, comforting those who are sick, and visiting those who are imprisoned. Notice that none of these are purely spiritual needs being met. There are spiritual or emotional benefits to each of these, but the primary action is taking care of a physical need. How many times have you heard people insist that it is more important to save souls than protect the bodies of those who are in need? How many times have those who claim to follow Christ insist that, as a society, we should not make sure that those who are suffering are taken care of, but instead we hear about how their situation is their own fault?  The answer is all too many.

But the thing is that this reading of flesh is missing a key idea. The idea of flesh in Galatians is not about physicality, but rather it is related to sin or selfishness. In other words, it’s about the breaking down of community and communal caring for each other. When read in this light, the passage takes on new meaning. It is a call that lines up with the Great Commandments we read from Matthew 22 in 2019. As a reminder, here is what we read:

When the Pharisees heard that Jesus had left the Sadducees speechless, they gathered together and one of them, an expert on the Law, attempted to trick Jesus with a question: “Teacher, which commandment is the greatest?” 

Jesus answered: 

“‘You must love the Most High God with all your heart, with all your soul and with all your mind.’ 

 “That is the first and greatest commandment.  The second is like it: ‘You must love your neighbor as yourself.’  On these the whole Law is based—and the Prophets as well.”

The second commandment here is also quoted in the reading from Galatians to “Love your neighbor as yourself.” And when we pair these with the Parable of the Good Samaritan, we see that our neighbor is anyone around us.

All of this leads us inexorably towards the idea that the fruits of the Spirit are made manifest by us being in full community with each other and by our taking care of all of those around us, particularly those who have been marginalized or shunned by society. When we take care of those around us, that allows their gifts to fully flourish because they can focus on something other than survival. When we fully open our hearts and our doors to all people, it increases the gifts that are present in the Church and that in turn strengthens the Church. Our diversity and our differences make us stronger. Only by fully embracing the different gifts of all members of the Church can the Church truly become what it is meant to be.

In today’s Gospel, Jesus asks us to pay attention to the fruits that spring forth because “a sound tree produces good fruit and a rotten tree produces bad fruit. A sound tree cannot produce rotten fruit, and a rotten tree cannot produce good fruit”. In the same way, a church that fully embraces the Love of God and the full humanity of all people is more likely to produce the good fruits of the Spirit: “love, joy, peace, patient endurance, kindness, generosity, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control”. The reverse is also true.

So today, I want to challenge each of you. I want you to think about someone in this church community (or in your life if you are a guest today) and about a gift that they bring to the church. At some point this week, I want you to reach out to them. It can be a phone call, an email, a text message, or a safely socially distanced chat. Name the gift that they bring to the church and let them know how you see that that gift has helped this community. I only have one rule: Don’t pick your spouse/partner/significant other or any family member. Hopefully, you are already telling them about the gifts that they bring. Pick someone different, maybe someone who may not hear about the gifts they bring to the table often.

You don’t need to report who you chose or anything and I am hoping that we all pick different people.

To close, I want to pray a Diversity Blessing that I found on a website called jesuitresource.org.  It was written by Clare McBeath and Tim Presswood:

May the God who created a world of diversity and vibrancy, Go with us as we embrace life in all its fullness.

May the Son who teaches us to care for stranger and foreigners, Go with us as we try to be good neighbors in our communities.

May the Spirit who breaks down our barriers and celebrates community, Go with us as we find the courage to create a place of welcome for all.

Amen.

April 2019

This post is going to be quite different from my last posts.  Before I go any further, I want to emphasize that the following post contains my thoughts and opinions.  It in no way, shape, or form represents the opinions, thoughts, or positions of Christ the Servant Lutheran church, the Church Council, or any other entity connected to the church.  I am not speaking in my capacity as Council member or Worship Coordinator.  Rather I am speaking for myself as an individual.

One more thing before I continue on.  I have heard some people say that they wish church was less political.  I feel the need to point out that there are two meanings of politics.  The first is a narrow version of politics, a partisan version.  This is the one where a group explicitly comes down for one political party of any others or support a particular political candidate.  The other version is a broader vision of politics.  According to one definition in Merriam-Webster dictionary, politics is "the total complex of relations between people living in society".  This is the version of politics that churches should embrace.  It transcends partisan politics to embrace an ethos about how society should work.  It looks at how society treats all of its members and how the members relate to the political society.  In America, we all too often conflate the two, but they are really different things.  The first one can very easily lead to theocracy (or at the very least theocratic thinking) but the second informs peoples decisions and helps to guide them to vote in a way that is consonant with their religious beliefs and their conscience.

I have become increasingly concerned about the US (and by extension the world, but I am going to focus on the US) over the last few years.  Ever since the 2016 election cycle started, our country has taken an increasingly dark turn.  From the time that a certain candidate (I cannot and will not say his name, so I will refer to him in other ways) stepped onto an escalator to announce that he was running for president of the United States, the darkest regions of our political thoughts have come to the forefront.  Nativism, racism, xenophobia, sexism, misogyny, homophobia, transphobia, and white supremacy have come to dominate our national conversation in a way they haven't previously.

That is not to say that they did not previously exist (they clearly did), but they had been banished from the mainstream of society, and for good reason.  America has always aspired to be a melting pot, a place where people from different countries and backgrounds can come and join together to form a new society, a "city on a hill".  Regrettably, America has never quite fulfilled that promise, but we have tried in fits and starts.  The course has meandered and we have never really dealt with structural issues that are holding some people (particularly people of color) back, but we have been trying, particularly the last 50 years or so.

But these last few years, it has felt like we have seriously backslidden.  The current occupant of the Oval Office, supported mainly by white people (particularly white Evangelicals), has done everything he can to entrench white supremacy in all walks of life.  We have had crackdowns on immigrants, we have had rollbacks of environmental protections that are mainly affecting poorer areas, we have had voting rights restricted in the name of "law & order", we have had the queer community affected by "religious freedom" rules that use religious belief as a sword to attack other people, and so much more.

Fortunately, we have had people fighting back against this trend.  While the fighting back is been somewhat successful, it is more like fighting a rearguard action than anything else.  We are losing ground for a lot of reasons, many of which are structural and systemic.  But there is also the problem where people don't fight back because either what happens doesn't affect them, they don't want to be political, or they don't see where they can make a difference.

In the first and second cases, that is privilege of the utmost order talking.  There is a meme that says "tbh being apolitical is a privilege.  some people can't ignore politics bcs politics attack their identity on a daily basis".  To translate: "To be honest, being apolitical is a privilege.  Some people can't ignore politics because politics attacks their identity on a daily basis."  For those people who can avoid politics, it is imperative that they not do so.  They should absolutely use their privilege to help out others as much as they can.  Yes, it is very tiring and exhausting, but imagine doing it because you have to in order to survive and to validate your very existence.  The more people we have supporting and lifting up marginalized groups, the less tiring it will be for everyone involved.

As for the third reason, I do understand that.  There is so much structurally which is standing against change.  That however, is not an excuse to do nothing.  It may take a long time, it may even take a lifetime or multiple lifetimes, but it can happen if enough people try hard enough for long enough.

So why am I writing a blog post about this in Footnotes?  Before I answer that, I must say that if you've stuck around this long, thank you.  The reason I am writing this is because I want to ask people to do something to make a difference and to be active politically.  I'm not saying you need to go to every march there is because I know we are all very busy.  But maybe take a few minutes at some point during the day and go to your congressperson's website or your senator's website and send them a brief note asking them to support a piece of legislation.  Maybe we could start a letter writing group at church to encourage people to call or email their government representatives.  Or you can submit written testimony in support of legislation (I've done this at the state level, not the national level) or leave comments for proposed regulation changes.  If you have time to march or protest, that would be a good option too.

As Christians, we are called to live out a life of service.  We are called to care for the poor, the orphans, the widows, the disenfranchised, the marginalized, and the outcasts like Jesus did.  We are called to love radically and fully like Jesus did.  We are called to charge into the temple and turn over the tables like Jesus did.  We are called to bring forth the Kingdom of God on earth now, not wait passively for it to come.

So I am asking you to seriously consider what you can do.  I will not shame anyone into doing anything, but please do think and pray about it.  Are you doing what you can to help others?  Or are you simply letting it go in the name of "ignoring politics"?

Mychel Vandover
Queer, non-binary person
Citizen of the United States
Member of Christ the Servant Lutheran Church
"Go in Peace.  Care, Teach, and Serve."

February 2019

I know that when I started this year, I had declared my intention to write a series on inclusive language during the liturgy.  Unfortunately, my best intentions were sidetracked by reality so I am expanding the scope a tad.  Rather that focusing on the language we use, I want to expand the scope and look at making the liturgy more inclusive through different aspects.  I have looked a bit at language, so I want to spend right now thinking about the worship space.

If you look at the population of CTS, you will note that there are quite a few members who are elderly, some who are hard of hearing, one who is blind, and others who have various physical ailments that make it hard for them to get around.  Part of being inclusive is making sure that we do what we can to make their moving around the church or participating in the liturgy easier.  Now, I want to stress that I am not saying we don't do things to help, but I do ask some questions that I would like everyone to reflect on and consider.

Before I begin, I am going to apologize if this comes off as condescending or something like that.  Please be assured that is not my intention.  It is my strong belief that those of us who have any sort of privilege examine those privileges and see if there is a way to remove barriers or issues that exist so that everyone knows that they are welcomed and that we will do what we can to make sure that they can participate as fully as they can.  What I am saying below are my own suggestions as someone who does not have some of these issues.  Ultimately, we do need to listen to people who have these issues and see what help (if any!) they need or want.

[1] For someone who is blind, do we make sure that they know if things are moved around?  I have been told that people who are blind (or visually impaired) depend on learning the physical landscape to make sure they don't trip over something because they cannot see.  When we move chairs or tables around, we can make it that much harder for them and it throws up a barrier for them.  So maybe we can tell them if something has changed or warn them in advance if possible.  What can you do to help out here?

[2] For someone who is deaf or hard of hearing, do we make sure they have seating closer to the front of the sanctuary so that they can have an easier time hearing or to make lip reading easier?  Those of us who are younger or do not have hearing issues can sit a little further away to make sure there is room up front.  Also, would we want to consider some sort of electronic distribution of the sermon in Word or PDF format so that it can be read at a later date?

[3] For someone who has a physical ailment that makes it hard for them to get around, do we make sure that there is ample space if they have a device that helps them get around?  Are we patient with them if they are slower than we are?  Do we help them get up and sit down if they need it?  Do we make other accommodations to be sure that they can get what help they need/want while they are in church?  Maybe you could help them walk to the front of the church if needed.  Maybe you could take their offering up if they desire that assistance.

I don't know if my thoughts are helpful (although I certainly hope they are!), but I do believe that in order to have a church which is fully welcoming to all people, we need to consider these things.  Not just as a congregation, but as individuals.  Do you, personally, do things to make it easier for all people to have access to the worship space so that they can participate fully?  Or do you do something that throws up a barrier to other people?  I just ask that you consider this.

God Bless.

Sermon for Reconciling in Christ Sunday 2019

Welcome and well come to Christ the Servant Church for our celebration of our status as a Reconciling in Christ congregation.  If you were here last year, you may remember how several queer members of the church (and Pastor Kari) got up here and spoke about how being a member of an RIC church made a difference in their lives.  This year, I wanted to expand on that and offer some of my own, personal reflections and observations.

In the second reading today, Paul talked about how we are all parts of one body and how all of those parts are necessary for a body to function properly.  I do love that imagery, but I prefer a different image that doesn’t have some of the ableist connotations that this passage has.  I prefer to look at the church as a symphony or a tapestry.  Both are works of art that have many different bits and pieces that make it what it is.  If you leave out or change a part of the tapestry or symphony, you alter it from what it could be.

If you’ve ever heard the Overture to the opera “Phantom of the Opera”, you are familiar with the opening notes which are blasted out on an organ.  Now, imagine those same notes played on a piano or a guitar.  Would the music have the same power in those cases?  The answer is no.  It may still be pretty, but it is missing a vital something that makes it the gloriously haunting opening that it is.  Or imagine the “1812 Overture” without the crashing symbols and sounds of cannons firing.  Would it still be the awesome music to play on July 4th?  Of course not!

In the same way, a church that is not fully affirming is missing out on vital aspects of life that make everything the way God intended.  When we exclude any group, we miss out on the gifts that that group brings to the table.  If only males lead churches, we miss out on the perspectives that women or non-binary people bring.  If only straight people lead, then we miss out on what members of the queer community bring to the table.  These groups, which have historically been marginalized or unrepresented, often have a perspective that allows them to advocate for other marginalized groups and gives a “bottom up” view of the world that sees things that the “top down” perspective misses.

For the Offering Song today, we will be singing “Draw the Circle Wide”, a song which perfectly encapsulates the ideal we have here are CTS.  On the website, it says “Christ the Servant seeks to be a home for people— wherever they are on their spiritual journey –where they are safe, accepted, cared for, and then challenged to grow in Christ and sent out to love and serve in the world.”  We don’t look to limit ourselves based on someone’s sexual orientation, gender expression, or gender identity.  Rather, we want everyone who comes in to know that they are a child of God and they are loved just as they are.

Sadly, too many Christian churches, even many in the ELCA, are not welcoming or affirming.  This leads to a situation where many people who are queer reject religion because they see many prominent religious voices calling them “intrinsically disordered”; saying that they are destined for hell, unworthy to raise children in a loving home, or unworthy to be married to celebrate the love they have for each other.  They also hear these same voices denying the identities of people who are transgender or non-binary and telling them that their experiences are invalid and unworthy of being heard.

These churches are taking the circle and tightening it rather than widening it.  They are taking the tapestry and trying to make it monochromatic.  They are taking the symphony of the church and turning it into something simpler and easier for them to listen to rather than trying to see the beauty in the differences that exist.  They are ignoring the word of Jesus that we hear in the Gospel today:

                      “‘You must love the Most High God
                      with all your heart,
                      with all your soul and
                      with all your mind.’

                      “That is the first and greatest commandment.  The second is like it: ‘You
                       must love your neighbor as yourself.’  On these the whole Law is based
                       —and the Prophets as well.”

They are also ignoring the Great Commission: to make disciples of the nations.  When people hear that they, or people they love, are unworthy to be included in the church, that makes it that less likely that they will be a part of that church.  After all, why be in a church that tells people that they are unworthy because of who they are?  Why be a part of a church that tells people that they are destined for damnation because of how God created them?  Instead, we need to show the love of God to all people.

One of my favorite quotes allegedly comes from Saint Francis of Assisi: Go and preach the Gospel unto all the world.  If necessary, use words.  Another quote I love is from Mother Teresa: There are no great things, only small things done with great love.  These two quotes encapsulate CTS and the mission of the church.  By our actions, which demonstrate the love that God has for all of us, we show that

                    "As disciples of Christ seeking justice and reconciliation among all people,

                    we at Christ the Servant Lutheran Church welcome all into the fullness of 

                    God’s love.  We welcome everyone, without exception and regardless of

                    sex, race, national origin, sexual orientation, gender identity, physical and

                    mental ability, age, or anything else that too often divides us."

And this is what we are celebrating today.  We are celebrating the love of God and showing that all are children of God and loved just as they are.  So today, and all days, may you show the world the love of God: a love that is all inclusive and all encompassing, a love that gives and gives until it has nothing left and then manages to give even more.  It is agape, a perfect, transcendent love, a love that raised the mountains, created the world, and breathed life into humans.  A love that is transformative and validating.  A love that abides no borders because it knows no borders. Love freely, love boldly, and let the world know that we are Christians by our love.  Amen.

January 2019

Welcome to a slightly different blog post.  Before I talk about the main point I wish to discuss today, I want to thank CTS for being an affirming church.  An affirming church is a church that not only welcomes, but affirms and validates the identity and experience of people who do not fit within the cisgender, heterosexual norms that our society espouses.  Many churches say that they are welcoming, but most are not affirming, so it is wonderful to be in one that is affirming.

What I would like to focus on today is the process of coming out.  Coming out is something that any member of the queer community is intimately familiar with.  It is a sacred act; sacred being defined as something that is unassailable, inviolable or highly valued and important.  It is an act that exposes who the person coming out truly is.

Our society is a society in which being heterosexual and cisgender is the norm, or in the words of the movie “Love, Simon”: Straight is the default.  Coming out is a scary process because it transgresses societal norms and affirms that the person coming out is different, and not everyone reacts well to other people being different.  Unfortunately, we still have people today who cannot come out because of how people around them will react, whether it be with violence or with being shunned.

When I first came out, I did so to some people I worked with who I knew would be ok with it.  Later, I came out to my mom and sister.  My sister took it well, but my mom actually teared up and asked if there was something that she had done which caused me to be gay.  I have to admit that that really hurt because I was always closest to my mom out of my whole family.  Eventually, I came out to my dad, who had the perfect reaction.  Although I was petrified to tell him, I did and he gave me a big hug and thanked me for being able to come out to him.  After this, I was able to come out to everyone around me and eventually to the world in general.

See, coming out is not a one-time thing, it is a process.  In order to come out, you have to feel safe and secure.  If you can’t come out, for whatever reason, it can eat away at you and cause numerous psychological and emotional issues down the road.

If you are lucky enough to have someone come out to you, please don’t take it lightly.  Know that having someone come out to you means that the person is trusting you with something that could potentially be used to hurt them, but they deem you safe enough to not hurt them.  Don’t say that you knew it or make it about you.  It is all about the person coming out.  Acknowledge the courage that they have displayed and assure them that they are safe with you.

Never, ever out someone to other people.  To do so shows a complete disregard for that person’s safety and well-being.  It also shows that you do not respect them, because coming out is something that has to be done on the timetable of the person coming out, not someone else’s timetable.  Again, in the words of Simon from “Love, Simon”, “I’m supposed to be the one that decides when and how and who knows, and how I get to say it, that’s supposed to be my thing!  And you took that away from me!”  No one ever has the right to decide that it is time for someone else to come out, whether it is their sexual orientation or gender identity.

I have seen all sorts of reactions to people coming out.  The ones I hate the most are when someone (generally a celebrity) comes out and people say, “I knew it!” or “It was so obvious!”.  Truth time:

YOU NEVER KNOW WHETHER OR NOT SOMEONE IS GAY/LESBIAN/BI/TRANSGENDER/ETC. UNTIL THEY TELL YOU!

You may suspect, you may wonder, but you do not know.  Period.  End of discussion.  No ifs, ands, or buts about it.  To say this is to completely disrespect the person and to belittle them and what they are doing, because what they are doing is an act of unparalleled courage.

You may have noticed that I have reference the movie “Love, Simon” a couple of times.  That is because the movie is quite possibly one of the best movies I have ever seen about this issue, and it captures the process with more than just a little authenticity.  In the movie, Simon comes out to his parents and after a while has a conversation with his mom.  Her words are well worth listening to:

                      Being gay is your thing. There are parts of it you have to go through alone.

                      I hate that. As soon as you came out, you said, “Mom, I’m still me.” I need

                      you to hear this. You are still you, Simon. You are still the same son who

                      I love to tease, and who your father depends on for just about everything.

                      And you’re the same brother who always compliments his sister on her food,

                      even when it sucks. But you get to exhale now, Simon. You get to be more you

                      than you have been in, in a very long time. You deserve everything you want.

The need to affirm that the person coming out is still the same person is, in my experience, universal.  I know that I used that line more times than I can count when I was coming out to people.  I felt the need to make sure that they knew that I was still the person they knew, only now they knew something that they hadn’t known before.  The other reason I said this is that it seemed to make it easier for people to accept the true, authentic me.  The me who likes guys, the me who loves to wear makeup because of how it makes me feel, the me who is not what society expects because I do not conform to societal norms.  In the immortal words of Popeye, “I am what I am and that’s all that I am.”

I want to close with one more quote from “Love, Simon”.  In the movie, Simon is outed by someone who was blackmailing him and eventually Simon decides to address the issue on his own.  He had been writing with another closeted guy and they were giving each other the courage to come out to people around him.  Unfortunately, Blue; the other guy; cut off contact after the emails they had been exchanging were published.  Simon decides to gamble everything on one last message.  Here is that message:

                      Dear Students of Creekwood High School, as anyone with a

                      half-decent data plan already knows, a recent post declared on this

                      very website declared that I was gay. The delivery left something to

                      be desired, but the message is true. I am gay. For a long time I was

                      killing myself to hide that fact. I had all these reasons, “It was unfair

                      that only gay people had to come out. I was sick of change.” But

                      the truth is I was just scared. First I thought it was just a gay thing,

                      but then I realized no matter what, announcing who you are to the

                      world is pretty terrifying, because what if the world doesn’t like you?

                      So I did whatever I could to keep my secret. I hurt the best, the most

                      important people, and I want them to know that I’m sorry. I am done

                      being scared, I’m done living in a world where I don’t get to be who

                      I am. I deserve a great love story. Disclaimer, this is about to get

                      romantic as F, so anyone averse to gratuitous feelings, kindly click

                      over to the BuzzFeed quiz or resume the porn you paused to read this.

                      This guy that I love once wrote that he felt like he was stuck on ferris

                      wheel. On top of the world one minute, rock bottom the next. That’s

                      how I feel now. I couldn’t ask for more amazing friends, a more

                      understanding family. But it would all be so much better if I had someone

                      to share it with. So, Blue, I might not know your name or what you look

                      like, but I know who you are. I know you’re funny and thoughtful. You

                      choose your words carefully and that they’re always perfect, and I know

                      that you’ve been pretending for so long that it’s hard to believe you can stop.

                      I get it. Like I told you at the very beginning, I’m just like you. So, Blue,

                      after the play, Friday at ten, you know where I’ll be. No pressure for you to

                      show up. But I hope you do, because you deserve a great love story too.

                      Love, Simon.

So, to my chosen family here at CTS, know that you have made this church a safe place for me.  A place where I can be who I am and not be worried about how people will react.  A place where I know that I am loved, accepted, affirmed, and; most of all; known.  Thank you for that, because it means more to have that than you can possibly know.

Love, Matt